"put it over there with the others Greaseball!"
The classic scene when Clark gives his a- hole boss a gift that is shaped exactly like the rest of the gifts lined up behind him.
"Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?"
Clark is obviously thrilled to have Eddie and Company in his home for his fun old fashioned family Christmas!
"Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn... the clean, cool chill of the holiday air... an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer... "
"Merry Christmas....shitter was full!"
"Checked our shitters honey?"
I had to follow up the last quote with this gem! Todd and Margo's reaction just adds to the awesomeness of this scene!
"You couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant."
Uncle Lewis is responsible for a few great quotes but this one is probably my favorite.
Number 5 ......
"WORSE? How could things get any worse? Take a look around here, Ellen. We're at the threshold of hell."
I love this quote. I've actually used it several times in real life situations!
Number 4 ......
"Yes officer, it seems my husband's been abducted. The man was, was wearing a blue leisure suit. Plates were from Kansas. He was a huge, beastly, bulging man."
The bulging descriptive gets me every time.
"that ain't the friggin Christmas Star it's a light in the sewage plant"
I remember rewinding this scene over and over again on the old VCR with my big bro laughing like crazy!
"I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?"
"Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse."
These are two of the funniest rants in movie history in my opinion!
So that'll do it for this week's random top ten. After this post I may need to watch this again before the holidays are over!
Be sure to post any of your favorites that I may have missed!
"can't see the line ey Russ?"