Gotta love these wide opened League assignments...this weeks it's simply.....
WHY!?!
Yup, Why, that's it. The possibles are endless, yet I ended up going with a "why" I always find myself asking (even though I know the answer).....
"Why don't these villains just finish the job already and get on with their master plans?!?!?"
I'm gonna start with a few characters who've been given an out multiple times AND by different villains!
Whether it's a kryptonite necklace or kryptonite shank....WHY don't they finish the job and kill the Man of Steel already! I mean let's face it, how many chances do you really think you're gonna get!
"I have to leave ya now, no hard feelings. We all have our little faults. Mine is in California"
or
"Now fly!"
Regardless of the quote, both Lex's ended up with big regrets!
Moral of the story "Don't attempt to troll the Man of Steel"
Another proverbial thorn in a villain's side....Dr. Jones! As you can see, the bad guys had their shot not once, but twice to rid the world of this whip wielding nuisance, and both times allowed him to slip through their fingers only to return and foil their plans!
So I repeat WHY not kill em when you had the chance???? I guess I don't need to tell you what happened to these over confident bad guy...this photo will do!
"Ah yet again what once was yours in now mine!"
or
"this is how we say goodbye in Germany!"
Face melt or dust to dust....these villains were certainly kicking themselves!
Next up Auric Goldfinger and his metal cutting laser. The man with the Midas touch! He, like all the perviously mentioned, overly confident villains, had his chance to eliminate his nemesis and instead chooses to walk off assuming his laser will finish the job....Goldfinger ends up asking himself WHY right before being sucked out of an airplane at 30,000 feet while James is cozied up under a parachute with Pussy Galore!
"Noooooo Mr. Bond....I expect you to die!!!!!"
Next time, a golden bullet will do the trick!
Next time, a golden bullet will do the trick!
Next we've got Roger Rabbit. I mean if you're a villain and you can't best this guy you've got some problems. Instead of tossing old Rog and his leggy wife Jessica into a fresh vat of "dip", he chooses to prologue their demise which in turn (you guessed it) results in his own.
"Shave and haircut....?"......how bout a steam roller and a nice dip in some.....well "dip".
Next we've one of my favorite movies from the 90s..."Interview With a Vampire". Now it seems that vampires have this unwriten rule. It basically says making kids into vampires is a no no. Well Louie goes ahead and does it anyway. Long story short, the other vampires they run into are none to pleased about this and decide to punish them. Claudia and another vampire are locked outside with no escape from the rising sun, and Louie is locked in a metal coffin, placed upside and walled in (a pretty shitty way for an immortal to spend eternity ey?). Anyway the elaborate scheme works and Claudia and pal are turned to dust. Louie on the other hand escapes and proceeds to avenge their deaths by burning and slicing (with a giant sickle) all of the vampires!
WHY take the risk?!?!? Next time the old stake in the heart still works!
The Bride from "Kill Bill" is one bad ass chick. Definitely one of the last people I'd want after me! Well when they finally get a chance to do away with this pissed off mom out for revenge who can clear a room with a samurai sword....what do they do????? They bury her alive instead of finishing her off! She of course escapes and continues her bloody quest for revenge.
WHY I say....WHY?!?!
I'm gonna wrap this up with Jack T. Colton and Just Joan Wilder. "Romancing the Stone" and "Jewel of the Nile" were two of my childhood favorites so I couldn't leave this one out.
Now Omar (the bad guy) knows that these two will stop at nothing to prevent him from accomplishing his goal. They've already stolen a fighter jet, been shot at by tanks, risked life and limb to foil his plans yet when he finally has the chance to put an end to it what does he do????? He ties them up, hangs them over a pit and leaves them to die. They of course get loose and finish the job!
Next time Omar, lose the ropes and just chuck em in! WHY risk it right?
So the moral of the story is simple: Villains of the world if you want to succeed in your plot to take over the world be sure to end it quick if you ever get a shot at that pesky protagonist!
Be sure to check out these other posts from around the League!
For all the rest head to Cool and Collected!
To quote Dr. Evil, "You just don't get it, do you Scott?"
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